Everyone is an expert

As people may or may not know two dramatic things have happened this year. Land mark kind of things. And as pair usually go we have One Happy One Sad...

And because of these two events I have come to a conclusion (several in fact but I'm only covering one here.)

So the first landmark is that I started a new job and with it has come this whole entire gang of new people to meet and get to know.

Second landmark (the sad one)is that I have just come out of a long term relationship. no big story to tell (because most people are aware of most parts of it anyway) but as is expected the hurt still ebbs and flows from day to day.

So part of getting know a whole bunch of new people is the whole tell your story in a minute conversation that happens when you're waiting for a meeting to start or waiting for a plane or sharing a ride or having lunch at the same table or when it's quiet and boring in the office.

And once you get past the Where did you study and Where do you stay and How are you enjoying working and the Family related pleasantaries there always pops up a moment where I have to explain that I am single and just out of a relationship (not to be confused with having to explain that you're not single but your special person lives over 6000km away....)

And While you talk about work and university and family and your home people listen or look bored or nod encouragingly but when it comes to the recent heartbreak everyone seems to have a story.

And I'm not sure if it is a sign of the times or just part of living the first 20 to 40 years of your life but everyone has an old wound of love to carry around. A husband who ran away An unfaithful wife A missing parent A mean boyfriend A skanky ex-girlfriend

And everyone wants to list their hurts for you and Everyone wants to give advice - sometimes useful sometimes silly sometimes the kind of advice I would do the exact opposite from!

And let's not forget how everyone always finishes off before leaving or turning to actaul work with a "If you need to talk ill be here for you" Which roughly translates as "Please spew your pain for me I would really like to watch"

Charming really.

Making my P.L.A.N

I went to Botswana yesterday with a colleague and as is expected when
you spent the better part of a day with someone you chat about things.
Now my colleague asked me a question I haven't been asked since Matric
7 years ago... "what is your plan for your life?"

Hhmmm....

It's a difficult one because these past few years have been filled
with shorter horizons Pass the course Pass the year Get thru 3rd year
the second time Get thru the lonely weekends Finish this project

My Longer term goal was to Graduate in 2008 (check) Get a job (check)
and start the next phase of my life (check) Further than that my ideas
were pretty vague.

So now I have been challenged to come up with some finite proper 50
year long term ideas And put them to paper to make them fell like real
goals

So this what I have come up with so far:

1. Live by myself for a while. It may be lonely It may be liberating I
may enjoy playing house-house

2. Be involved in a project in my career that is worth retelling
people about Something BIG - I want to make myself proud of myself in
a way I haven't felt since being the best science-nerd in class.

3. Be married (preferably the first and only time) before I turn 29.
This does imply hurrying up in knowing someone long enough to be sure
of making that commitment But I read a pearl of wisdom the other day
that said (this is probably misquoted please don't sue me) "Most men
wake up one day and decide they want to be married and then go out and
marry the next girl they meet" So I just gotta hand around Prince
Charming long enough to be that girl...

4. Play house house like they do in the movies Painting, Refurnishing,
Making Prettiness

5. Travel I want to see the beautiful parts of creation The mountains
and lakes and blossoms and rivers and caves and skies There are
definite places I want to see too:
Somewhere polar arctic or antarctic
The cherry blossoms and the rest of Japan
The Scotland and England The green parts but NOT to live there (I can
explain if you have time for a tirade)
The parts of China that are breathtaking even in movies
Africa Just a little bit North but So many places that are Worth visiting

And that's all I have for now It isn't really specific enough but it's
a start Maybe next time Ill cover what I want for 3 because I'm
discovering some specifics that take my fancy :D

Botswana

I got up at 3am this morning.

I got to the airport at 4:30am this morning.

I arrived in Gaborone at 7am this morning.

I left Gaborone at 4pm this afternoon.

I arrived home at 6:30pm

Botswana was sunny and friendly but I am Finished uuuuggghhh....

Exhaustion setting in

So after spending more time sleeping than anything else this long weekend I am Finished after one day back at work. It might just be the stress I thought I had a progress meeting next week and now it has been moved to this week so now I have to hurry to get everything ready sooner

The trouble with long weekends is that you still have to get a weeks worth of work in on fewer actual work days!

So now to sneak in some overtime and do a little bit more work now to make up for staring out the window when I should have been working today OR to give in to the body and mind and sleep... I love sleep :)

And I don't mean it in a Stupid thing to Say in an Interview way. I really enjoy closing my eyes and letting my mind browse over everything that is running wily-nilly around it. It does invariably lead to consciousness shut down and time passing by without my knowing but I find it really relaxing... It is the one thing I long for when Im stressed (or have a full belly hee hee)

The sleep option always wins... hopefully I can try make it early to work tomo...

My new toy Isn't it pretty :) and the bright red is so fashionable. I feel silly for being so materially obsessed.. I think in a week or two when I have full abused all the features Ill be able to let it out of my hand for longer than 3 minutes hee hee

Easter Weekend

Im going to have a great weekend because:

1. the family has gone away for the weekend and I have the house to myself
2. I got a new phone which has enough features and buttons to keep me busy for the next 4 days trying them all out
3. I don't have to go to work until Tuesday, that's like 3 more late nights!
4. I have the most awesome friends in the world - It is amazing what a cup of coffee and a long chat does to the way your day goes.
5. I have lots to do if I feel like it - My sister gave me a new book to read, I haven't grown tired of my new CD and I bought a paint by numbers picture (as lame as the painting sounds - its pretty absorbing work)

So I'm feeling pretty good :)

I have been pretty down these past week or two. It's been a mix of loneliness, disappointments from people who pretend to be friends and stress at work. It was so bad that getting up and facing the day was pretty difficult some mornings. I haven't felt that way since I was stressed moggy in final year last year. So now feeling so great is like that feeling you get when you pop thru the clouds in an aeroplane.... Let's just hope that this feeling lasts...

Boy Obsession - BFFFFF

Aaaah Gareth, I name all of you Gareth for the Gareth that ate Marie biscuits with sand in the middle when we were 4 years old .

You stole my cheese puffs in Grade 1, I saved up pocket money and had remember to bring my money with on Friday to buy those cheese puffs... greedy little six year old punk.

You used to let me play with your Teenage Ninja Turtles and you used to play house house with me, you were always a useless dad.

You used to call me names at the gate while waiting to be picked up to go home. I used to sit up at night thinking of new names to call you.

You used to get off one stop earlier at the bus to walk with me home so we could exchange stories about our friends.

You used to walk to my house in the holidays and eat cheese sandwiches in my kitchen.

I listen to you call your ex-girlfriend names when she broke your fragile ego. I deleted her from my Facebook friends for you - stupid woman for letting you go I say.

I met your new girl - sometimes she was pretty, sometimes she wasn't, sometimes she was nice, sometimes she was aggressive, sometimes she was insecure, sometimes I sighed and smiled and pretended to be friendly - I knew it wouldn't last and then you would be back in my kitchen at midnight diluting the beer with coffee swearing her name under your breath.

I missed you when you found the girl of your dreams and spent all your free time on her. I wanted to jump into your arms and squeeze all the breath out of you to punish you for being busy. I can't, The girl of your dreams will give me a funny look.

I confess you were at times more interesting than what ever lame-ass guy I was dating at the time.

You are dear to me my Gareth. I feel a love for you. You're dearer than a brother because I can send you home at the end of the day. You're about as romantically viable as a your plastic molded six pack ripped Ninja Turtle Doll. But I miss you, Gareth.

Call me when your girlfriend isn't looking, we can do coffee and Ill punch you on the arm for growing up and still being the same old guy who made me eat sand and stole my precious cheese puffs.