Tales of a gym newbie

So MrT and I finally did that thing that I always thought was only done by wealthy people who can afford to waste money on trivial things.... We joined the gym. I grew up thinking normal hard working people just ran around the block to stay in shape.

Now other than a singular visitor visit many many years ago, I am a complete total and utter gym virgin. Growing up I stayed skinny by walking to and from school and a healthy amount of gymnastics training wriggling out of my brothers grip while they tried to give me noogies on the scalp and arms. I joined road running clubs but didn't have the staying power. I joined one again just after getting engaged to be a typical Beautiful Thin Bride but alas starting a before work morning road running habit in winter is only for extreme morning people, better yet, insomniacs. 

And so, after a health review in October where the results were some what shaming, Eben and I decided it was time to change our sedentary lifestyle that has too much pasta and cheese and wine and chocolate and too little fresh fruit and fresh air and other heathful things. Also, we'll both be past 30 years in 18 months and we are realising that 30 years is when the body starts hinting that you are not young and spritely anymore.... It seems our bodies, like cars, are overdue for a major service when the mileage is at 30 trips around the sun. Sucks for you if you haven't been taking regular care of things.... And been eating cheese while watching too much SATC until 2am on a work night. 

Now my weight is around about normal for my height and age but I am a little too much fatty fat and a lot too little muscle mass. Typically it is all on my bum, belly and boobs.

And so, (to move things along) last week, Vitality discounting memberships in hand, we joined the local gym. We took one last weekend to eat red meat and butter cooked mushrooms and asparagus and drink heartily of liqueurs over ice and bourbon with cola all guilt free. 

This morning, not at all bright and early, we very nervously arrived at the gym, towel and water bottles in hand ready to give this thing a bash. 

After asking around and explaining that we we're completely new to this, the personal trainer took us to the super circuit to get started. As MrT and I were training together (my absolute precondition to joining a gym - or else I'll never get into the habit) we had to take turns wit he machines. So while he was on machine 1, I was doing stair exercises. Then we swap and I press/lift/weep while MrT conveniently remembers he has knee troubles and does the easy stair hops. And swap again. 

New realization: be it the current cold I have or pending older age, my balance is pretty shit. The stair exercises were a bit hit or miss after the first 10 repetitions. 

But on to the super circuit. I was pretty good at the first few (the energy jump from banana bread and tea for breakfast having not worn off yet) especially since a lot were leg exercises. But at the later machines (like all of them from 6 to 10) I was seriously taking some strain. It is worrying when on the lowest weight possible, you can't make the machine move. But I did my very best at each machine trying to do 20 repetitions, followed by 10, then 5, then 5, then 1, then 1, then please can we be done now, then one more, then oonnée mooreeeee, and Yes done! Time for a sip of water... And more graceful jumping up and down the stairs. 

Needless to say, after all 10 machines I was feeling more than a little ragged. I had excuse myself to take a polite bathroom break because I was afraid I was going to puke, pass out and my legs fall off all at the same time. I might be a newbie but I have my dignity (what dignity left that I hadn't sweated off or left in the hands of the trainer helping my lift the tiny 2.5kg weight on the arm machine of terror. )

After saying our thanks and good byes to the trainers we went home for a shower (MrT is a little gun shy in the change rooms at present) and now 12 hours later I can't say I am in agony. This means that I'll be fully capable of going back in a day or two. Joy! more pain and profuse sweating.

And so to wrap up, setting some new healthy living goals.

Very short term goal: do the super circuit with out help from the smug trainer

Short term goal: start fitting my current clothes better. (I am horrified to be getting too chubby for them and my ego cannot Cannot handle going up another size)

Medium term goal: be capable of a 5km run

Longer medium term goal: lose 5kg by Easter and be able to go for a run with my dad or brother and be able to keep up. 

Long term goals: a longer marathon perhaps, being able to to kill my fear having flabby flappy swinging upper arms. No more muffin top. Be on the B side of a C cup. Be back at my end of varsity weight (so lose 20% from what I am now) A thigh gap like when I was 16 yo would be nice but I may be beyond such youthful legs now. 

Disclaimer: being fat or thin or round or pear or apple or stick or watermelon is beautiful, all ladies should wear bikinis if they feel like it and have the right to feel sexy. (Fat old men wear speedos because they feel sexy in it and they don't give a crap what anybody thinks)

But we try to stay healthy for the family and friends who love us and want us around to the end of making good memories.