finding the balance

I have reached that stage at worknow where Im expected to know what I'm doing. I sat in a meeting today where I mostly observed the proceedings where the conversation went something like this:

BigJob1: blahblah schmir shmee schma ...is it possible to ask the client this?

BigJob2: schmaa schmaa schmaa ...and the client must be informed of that.

BigJob1: blah blah draft a letter blah blah what do you think Frances?

Frances: well I...

BigJob2: yes it does say here blah bllah blah

... and so it went on for 10 minutes finally they resolved with absolutely no contribution from myself what the client must know and what the client must be asked.

Lesson: when BigJobs say "We will do this" it means "we will find the junior who is trying to lay low and make her do it"

Incidentally another lesson I have learnt at work (and should have known after 6 years of an engineering degree) is that the male mind is way easier to speak to with pictures. You go "blah blah blah" (just like the BigJobs) to a person of the male-persuasion you usually have to flap your lips around for twice as long as going "scribble scribble" and then "You! lookee here!" and pop it under their nose... then the light bulbs come out.

This may be vastly obvious except in a different meeting I sat and watched two of the BigJobs having a discussion (one engineer man and one finance man), trying to get each others points. So being male they both picked up a pen (like the teddy bear of the mind faced with having to explain something) and proceeded to make diagrams or something. Let me interject here the arguement was on how to calculate a value. and so while talking and drawing (at the same time.. bad idea.. bad men attempting multitasking tsk tsk tsk...) we landed up with two puddles of scribble on the board. (helps if you look occasionally at the hand with the pen in it instead of only at the person who you are talking to) And the bizarre part is that they two gnts understood each other!! I have seen drawings that are drawn by 1 year old babies that explain better.. altho a 1 year old baby only has so much to say.. "wanna poop/eat/sleep/drool/make a nice/pass wind".. the usual icky baby stuff.

So back the point. I keep on forgetting that I am a working proffessional who gets paid for what I do. and I'm astonished that I get given important expensive stuff to do, stuff that if I happen to make a drastic mistake... could have embaressing implications... And you have to give a 100% effort on everything. Like it all has to be complete and exactly right. and if you make a mistake it comes back with some finger wagging until it is perfect.

This adult stuff is hard work...