More Aunty-love

Everybody goes "aaaw" "Sweet" "Proud Tannie"

And I go... hmmm... I still don't like the way I smile. :/

Anyway Caleb is 4 days old now and back home. My sister and her 'band are probably playing being Parents this evening making use of all their baby gift gear. I wish them well.

My head has been kinda weird over ThisCreature.

On Monday morning I was elated and proud and smiling and bouncing.

Then by lunchtime this irrational paranoia/envy set in once my brain ticked over and calculated that between the parents, there are six brothers,six sisters, three grandparents, three great-grandparents and cousins and cousins and cousins and cousins. I realised that I would be standing in a long queue to give my well wishes and how dare other family members of the same level of familial hierarchy be invited for baby viewing before me. How dare they be more enthusiastic about it than me...
Fortunately Rational Frances gave the crazy woman in my head a kick in the ear and I realised that my sister and brother-in-law are the ones with a new baby and they are perfectly entitled to have all the family members crowd round in love and joy and celebration.

By Monday evening I wasn't sure if I would be visiting at all. I was feeling stinky and sweaty and dirty and not very suited for meeting a fresh new baby. I whizzed across town to the hospital and made it in time for visiting hours and stood in the (smaller than expected) crowd in the waiting room. And what I was feeling in that moment was not envy and was not irritation but simply shared joy with family.

Once I finally made it in to visit my sister and my nephew a small level of terror had taken over. My hands were filthy and my clothes were whole-day-worn and then....!!! my sister offered to let me hold Caleb. She warned me to hold the little creature properly and to support the neck and head. Scary performance anxiety stuff!!

I managed to return for a second visit on Wednesday and I was earlier than before and had a full 30 minutes to spend with the new family. This is when the picture above was taken.

And so after my scary weird crazy jealous spell I think I am back into normal mental control. I think it stems back to being from a big family. When there is several of you (well seven to be exact) you gotta hustle a little to get a piece of the action. Or rather I get a little cautious about pushy people. (DISCLAIMER: I love my family very much. They are lovely good upstanding god-fearing people). As long as I remember the important golden rule...

IT IS NOT ALWAYS ALL ABOUT ME...

And that boys and girls concludes the lesson for today. I trust my generous sister and brother-in-law will find time to share the delightful presence of their child again in the next 18 years.... and oh boy! oh boy! oh boy! I do look forward to it!