a lesson in lending

It is time for another life lesson me thinks,

So, Lesson [n+1]: when you lend something to a friend, the time it takes for the article to be returned is an indication of how important it was to them

Friend in this borrowing/lending context is used only as a loose reference to a person with whom you are acquainted. {grrr wicked horrible people that never bring stuff back! it is like you are dead to me!}

And so the story to explain this lesson goes like this. You purchase say a new CD. Your friend borrows the CD to listen to it. If it is returned promptly, like the next time you see each other Or else the person mentions that they will give it back every time you see them until it is returned, THEN it means that the CD (in this example) means a lot to them, they really enjoyed it and they wished that it belonged to them.
However, if you don't see the CD for months and months and there is absolutely no mention from your friend that they still have it, then it means that either they care so little that they haven't even listened to it or have no regard for the CD in any way.

This may seem entirely logical or not but the basic theory is that the more they wish the item belonged to them, the more likely it is that it will be returned. (the exception of course is having scaly stealing friends)
This theory applies just as well to books, clothes and usually even money. (Altho lending and borrowing money amongst friends is a whole other school of life skills)

What I have observed is that when your friend makes use of what you have lent them, if they appreciate and covet the item, it is foremost in their minds and they find it very easy to remember that it belongs to you and it must be returned. Conversely if they have no regard for the item or even no regard for you, they dont think about what you have lent them and never remember to return it.

So the lesson out of this is when you discover something cool - be careful of lending it out to your friends because if they don't like it, they will never return it and you will now be minus an item that you really like. Not Cool!
Similarly, don't lend money to arbitrary work colleagues who don't know your name because they will forget to return it to you and because you are not very well acquainted, you will struggle to find the polite way of saying "Pay up you stingy Rogue! I lent you lunch money!"

Yes I am in the midst of a bad experience - The only icing on the cake is that the person who owes me stuff can't look me in the eye... I think she remembers! Suffer in guilt! You owe me money! And you owe me my shopping bag!

The problem is that if someone asks to borrow something - you feel like a tight lipped school teacher saying "Please make sure you give it back!" <wag fingers> I'm going to have to go practice my self-righteous face soon...

Thinking about it, I guess you could apply the same lesson to lending time and feelings as well...